today I woke up in an okay mood thinking “Today’s gonna be a good one!” But most of the time I’m wrong, whether it a thought, or an action, or what I say. And I most certainly wrong with my first thought.

I got on the computer to check on my Facebook, and well nothing ever goes good after you check your Facebook when your life sucks, even if you did nothing wrong…the statuses and the creeping and all that can really bring a gal down when all you see is negative stuff…mostly what’s posted on the Social Network nowadays. Anyways, I went to check on my now ex-boyfriends profile……I don’t know why…maybe because I miss him and wanted to see if he made a status referring to why he dumped me, because I sure as hell didn’t get an answer. I got a text saying, “So R we broken up?” IT’S ‘ARE’ YOU JACKASS, YOUR 20, LEARN HOW TO SPELL. This was the other day, so ya know I was on his profile and I seen pictures of him with his ex-girlfriend at Disneyland on the Tower Of Terror….holding hands and she was leaned into him. This was the day before he broke up with me, and the most recent post between the two was a heart she put on his wall. I wanted to cry so bad. BUT, another shitty event in my life that is taking place is me sleeping on my Moms couch because my Grandma kicked me out after SHE snooped through my stuff. She didn’t find anything, but when i had seen my stuff was moved around I threw my TV at her and let her know she was welcome to shove it up her ass. (I also have anger problems) And back to the wanting to cry thing, I couldn’t because I sleep on the couch which is in the living room, where everyone watches TV. I’m suppose to be moving to my Grandmas in North Carolina, but she wont let me come until I have a civil conversation with my Grandma whom kicked me out of what isn’t even her house…she didn’t pay for it…her ex did…before he left us and went back to Washington…Wanna know how he did it? He said he wanted us to go out for a girls day where we got our hair done and watched a movie so he could watch the series of Lord of The Rings in peace. We came home and his stuff was gone and all he left was a note explaining himself (excuses, ya know). Which didn’t help with the fact that I have trouble trusting men. They leave me every time, even the adults…not mature at all. My Dad has been in and out of Jail his whole life, makes promises he cant keep, and is a complete man-whore. On top of it, his last jail sentence is to where he doesnt get out until I’m 40…right now I’m 16. My Papa (who had guardianship of me because my parents didn’t keep me when I was a baby) cheated on the Grandma who kicked me out and then he moved in with the Harlet and then divorced and Married again with a woman in a town 45 minutes away knowing I’d have no transportation to him… and that same woman convinced him to take a job offer in Washington…….about 30 something hours away. I don’t know what I do wrong, I really don’t. Everything I hope to happen..even something as simple as my crush smiling at me (which he doesn’t, figures) never happens. You want to know what happens? I get a mean mug from him!? Like I hurt him or something, keep in mind I’ve never even had a conversation with my crush, “hey” wasn’t even mentioned. Not even one of those awkward moments where you thought they told you hi, but it was really to the hot popular girl behind you. My Avatar of The Devil and god arm wrestling is how they’re settling who will get me and if you look real close, the Devil’s winning.